Location: Boston
Type: Full-Time (and pager duty on weekends!)
Experience: 20+ years

About Us:



At Example Co., we’ve been around since dial-up, and some of our codebase hasn’t changed since. While the rest of the world is moving toward sleek, scalable systems, we’re over here making sure our FORTRAN doesn’t break because it’s still powering... everything.

Position Overview:



We’re looking for a Software Engineer who can juggle modern languages like Python and Java, but who’s also comfortable diving deep into legacy codebases that might as well be written in hieroglyphics. You’ll spend your days explaining to new hires what a mainframe is, and convincing management why upgrading to "something post-2000" is a good idea. If you love the smell of musty legacy systems in the morning and find joy in ancient, uncommented code, this is the job for you.

Key Responsibilities:

• Write new features in old code without breaking the entire system (we’re serious).

• Maintain code written before Y2K was a thing, and possibly before you were a thing.

• Debug issues that have existed for decades, while questioning every life choice that brought you here.

• Document code as if someone will actually read it in the future (we're optimistic).

What We're Looking For:

• 10+ years of experience in modern programming languages that we’ll admire but probably never implement.

• Proficient in COBOL, FORTRAN, or something equally likely to make younger devs ask, "What’s that?"

• Patience. A lot of patience. Especially when the system goes down and the only person who knows how to fix it retired last decade.

• Ability to keep a straight face when someone suggests a system upgrade that "won't take too long."

Perks & Benefits:

• Onsite cafeteria

• An extremely high level of job security

• Free parking

• Two beepers

How to Apply:



Send us your resume and a list of programming languages you know that would make our founders proud. Extra credit if you’ve ever debugged something on a system running on punch cards. We promise to get back to you before our next system-wide crash.