Back
Product Manager - Food Science
Example Company #3
Location: The Valley
Type: Full-Time
Experience: too many turtlenecks to count
About Us:
At Example Company #3 we’re not just delivering food—we’re revolutionizing the art of dining... from your couch. We don't just bring you dinner—we're pioneering a food movement. With sleek interfaces, deep market insights, and a healthy disregard for how many delivery apps already exist, we’re excited for the opportunity to charge hungry people large fees for their dinner.
Position Overview:
We’re seeking a Product Manager who will lead cross-functional teams in the development of innovative features like “entering your credit card.” You’ll also own the roadmap for our latest game-changing feature: recommending food based on users’ astrological signs.
If your dream is to build a seamless, scalable food delivery empire where Capricorns get their orders early, Leos always get extra sauce, and Pisces are gently reminded to stop ordering at 2 a.m., we need your visionary thinking.
Key Responsibilities:
- Ask your teammates “is it done yet?”
- Invent your own KPIs like Delivery Time to Doorstep (DTD) and Burrito Heat Retention (BHR).
- A/B test Guac or no Guac
What We're Looking For:
- An MBA from a fancy school
- A deep hunger to assign points to tickets
- A leader who makes each morning standup feel like a TED talk
Perks & Benefits:
- A lifetime supply of Patagonia vests
- An overwhelming sense of dread that a layoff is coming.
- A Tesla
How to Apply:
Submit your resume, LinkedIn profile, and a visionary essay on how our app will disrupt the food chain forever. Bonus points if your life goal is to be in the Forbes 30 Under 30.